Dear Most High, Hey whats up , its Shapel. Yeah I wrote on this mirror in an attempt to remind myself to be more like you... I want to be more like you but I'm seeming to be more like me..or maybe its you... HELP ME love live feel care understand love MORE! your child, shapel <3

boy boy .

i'm done.

i found some better toy toys.

and trynna figure you out

is one big stress knot.

but thats not in my bloodstream.

but it was cute while it lasted.

samo samo.

I read earlier that the more you care less about what people think , and this means truly care less , the more free you become...

i am changing.
and i pray to the most high that this is all for the better.

people do not see the in-sanity to my daily.
let me put it this way,

i take expo markers and write full length letters to the Lord on my mirror
leaving inscriptions " i am writing on this mirror to
become more like you , so
that when i look in the mirror , i remember this
...i am your child."

writing this paper has me thinking about other things and being in this lounge
has me wanting to scream. i am not angry right now. i am hurt? but i deserve it
? no...no one deserves to be hurt.

they say.
they always saying something.
they always say that shapel never makes sense and shes so so cool and she has immense amounts of style

but

all shapel is thinking

she makes non-sense so it must be true like non-fiction. her diction unmistakenly common. shapel's a finger on a hand , seperate but needs the rest ,the hand. she has no style. besides life.

i just want to live.
in peace.
in love.
in here.
in there.

just let me breathe, please.

--------i fall hard.
i swear to god.
or rather the creator
that i always cry later
and laugh now
and its no more masking now.
i need to bask and bow
before the light
im tired of the fight
i am wrong and right
you think i'm loose
but i think you're tight
you need to just let it be
like the four london boys
said
let it be.

if you could know that i care so much about you

and the fact that i see so much hurt and lost everytimeyou come around me..

when i look at you i see a little bit of shapel in you.

you wonder why and how love could do you like that you like i once did,

but that was not love baby that was a step-cousin

it really didn't mean nothing.

and you mean the world to me

you are my everything

and i want to chase you and make you believe

but im no houdini

i'm tired of running

and i don't have the mojo -martini

i'm just saying how i feel

and i am becoming tired of

losing you

losing you

and gaining heartache

time after time

i hope

soon you'll understand.

birthright?

So what itches me a bit is the topic of legacy,endowment and expectations. People and separations and privileges. Just because someone else in your life was one thing are you a carbon copy? Are you suppose to be...Suppose ? Did the Creator implement you to be an exact. A same. In so much space why would we follow footprints. But I'm not saying be oh so unique but I'm just thinking why do we have to things if we know there is a possibility it doesn't feel right...

man.

bleh.

grind...

and i'm internally starved.

the people around me aren't fulfilling my hunger...see ya'll later.

soul searching.

i finally felt something.

In a room full of real human beings, I felt that this can't be it. Out of place.I'm not trying to be deep nor profound , I'm just saying whats on my heart right now at 1:48 am. I'm tired and I'm weary of people and their self-importance and I guess I contradict myself.

I know we are someone in the face of the Creator but why do we want to run things be the head of the show and know and know..

WHY are we so fake? I feel like I should tell people about themselves and I guess I'll have to take blows? Cause I can't stand the phony-ness and I can't sit it out. I'm no judge but why does my heart tell me you're not right. And by no means am I.

Can we just live it up? with no worries and no commitments besides to life itself? being ..pure..

i really can't worry about this anymore...i love you all. i really do

but

ya'll gonna be the death of me.

A Creature called Shapel

“You have to be someone.”-Bob Marley

“Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all.”

sometime my mind wonders away from me...

Have you ever seen a dreamer in real life ? -going fast in real life but it seems slow.

My life is a definition I'm still trying to find amidst all of this chaos. I am so lost and I really want to find myself. But I'm starting to think that maybe I am suppose to be here and maybe all of this isn't mislaid but in fact this is the exact place I should be right here and right now. Maybe my success is not defined by them or its quite possible that even my greatness in the face of the Creator, hasn't been witness yet.

I won't put myself on a pedestal and I won't stomp myself so low. I'm indescribable. Thats all I can think of. I want it all but nothing at the same time. Hopefully this will all work out in the favor of whats right and then whats left is that I was just a regular girl moving at a pace in tune with the world.

I think rather I know I am beautiful and kind because I look like my mother and not a soul can deny that beauty. I love my mother so much and I know next lifetime she will be a Queen with roses and lillies attached to her feet. I'll pray everyday for her health.

and

I know I'm tough , clever and human because I am my father's daughter. I am his. He has made many mistakes but I call the lessons and we are both learning in this day and at this present time. I take the weight and I play the cards well , I have a way with words. Daddy. Remember I called you that a few times. But I'm just like you , emotional but I won't tell the world. =)

“Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold...”-Bob Marley

Remember the moon in Nigeria , Agbogo? How we stayed outside until your mom called us and told its bedtime lol. The moon was so beautiful and full of promises and hopes and a portal for better.

LIFE IS ONE BIG SENTENCE LONG WITH SPACES AND INDENTS AND PUNCTATIONS AND IT MAKES SENSE AND NON-SENSE AT THE SAME TIME.?!-]

i'm so sick of being deep

i'm so tired of being simple

Let me think , give me alittle bit of time to place myself in a spot long enough so I can look in the mirror and say: " Thats it."

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”-Bob Marley

So I'mma Stop

Proceed with Caution

Yield with Love and

Slow Down with the Fast Life

and Go Live Naturally.

Mr.Marley is so right and I sweared before all of you that this man was my hero. One of the many. Love really doesn't leave me alone. No matter how many times I might try to forget it all , I remember how good it is to have Love. There is so much more love in this world than hate , its just waiting to be put frontstage and get its 15 seconds of fame , (A.Warhol)

now exhale.

alltrue,stick. 3/09/010*

i don't need no speaker.
i don't need no mic.
i don't need your beef.
i'm a vegan , iight.

(pause)
i don't wanna fight.

tonight.-
i don't need your drama.
i'm a sitcom for the masses.
life is a lesson,
gotta take extra classes.

credits rollin'
(pause)
feeling it all through your eyes.


lets see through tinted and lucid glasses.
cause you should know
not all humans are savage.
theres a light above
the love below
got me all -
here i go

caught up in a rapture
glorified
elated
kodak couldn't capture
the Meds can't sedate it.

not right in the head
left around the bend,
counting to ten
waitin' for the dark to come in..

sunlight.moonlight.starlight.
allbright.
(pause)

luminescence
in time's -essence
fills your presence
i got my blessing
no i'll never mess it
and when you 2 inches away
its not okay,
i always miss it.

(pause)
experience a song from your mouth.

i never thought i would see beauty
in this living tour
1st look
i was sure
and i fell for your allure
gracefully.

good thing.
great thing.
makes me wanna sing
songs of the past.
good things.
great things.
should always last

but
BUT


nothing is forever
unless its the greed for this chedda
although i wish it better
forecast the same weather
we can be alright;--
if we stay together
keep our minds sunny love and never
let the haters know their close and clever
we can stand the disasters whatever
cause me away from you my heart they will severe
put it in your pocket, cop it out tuck in, whenever
and if they ask you about with no doubt remember
i was true to you furthermost
and if you ever get lonely let me be your host<3

just Blaze 3/15/010.

True.
your mind might be on
another plane
in the sky or on the ground.
but
my mind is on a Rocket,
soaring and pouring
raining up
a brillant holocaust
i guess i'm mentally ill.

Simply,
a firecracker,
thats moves like a projectile

i'm still a slacker...

and never full.

cause i'm using 4%
from my pre-tense;
straight as a whistle
but
zig zagging like a
crooked
missile.

I am Light.








just Blaze.

on a piece of tissue 3/16/010

pretty soon,
i'll be this memory.
in the near past
that may visit your far future
with my translucent presentce;
this vivid youth
that plays
in my mind,
brings out the best in me
and you
brought out the warmth
and intimacy of a
alliance
of fate.
real life is but a dream
and i'm always awake
so this thing we have
i'll never call it a mistake.
<3

latenight earlymorning talkingsoulyawning 3/18/010*

have been beaten.
stomped to the ground.
lost looking to be found
trying to find a way.
find a way
out of all these
expectations.
imitations.
confrontations.
limitations.
on my destination,
wherever that may be
and if
just maybe
just maybe
if you could
feel where i'm coming from
and how i just seem to be
you could see
the beauty and light
i couldn't cage inside
the bird that sings a song
for my pain and laughter
and how lovely it sounds
even after
the tears have dried
and my heart skips awkwardly
123
123
123
easy it never has
and never will
seem.

one day might not come today
or tomorrow
and i can't be mad or live life in sorrow
about my yesterdays
but
there are times when i will feel down
and then i remember above all
i have life
and how dare i look below at my feet
bowing and not receiving
this love
this love
that
some how
manages to remind me
when all else leaves
and no matter how much
i will always feelfail
that love
will always be here.


thats real.

butter loaves 3/26/010*

people do ugly things
things they really can not truly mean.
why would they defiantly be mean
to me...
i just wanna love you like hov said
and i'll share my heart,the fish and the bread
like jesus did
just cause i love you.
but you don't know what you got until its gone
so long
and we will never make that beautiful song
unless its goes unwrong
but i might
no i'm pretty sure i'll meet you
treat you
greet you
next lifetime.
when when are in our right minds and we left places of
uncertainty
cause today i only know death is for sure
and its a beautiful transition.


*not suicidal , few will get this.. i'm working on the true genius.

soon come 3/29/010*

all these demons
feenin
to be in my future
to torture
the spirit
to diminish
and finish
my road to
the
good life.
but with much strife
and a cool stroll
i will rise above
with my feet on the ground.
let me go
let me go
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
leave
leave
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
even if you can't understand me
let me be me

after all
everyone else is taken.


ps:thanks to dani boy for making life alright. sisters before cousins*<3

Min Tha Ripper 3/29/010*

Loving you is easy because
you are Beautiful,
Loving like this lies (only) in the stars,
skies,
planets
and
moons;
this is blissfully true.
You
contribute to this extreme joy
that bursts from my heart and creates
a halo of
pure grace and good vibes
around me
over me
and
under me
the world watches
from below
who knew humans could fly?
who knew my wings-
could not come from a girl or a guy.

dedication to Minnie Ripperton<3>

@thelibrary a sudden thought 3/30/010*

i honestly do not try to be poetic
i dont even think im trying to be real.
and most of the times
i really do not know what to feel.
one day my flame could possibly go out
and i might give up
but i'll leave this earth on two feet
never in angular forms
straight up.
and im not empty
so fill me up
with negativity or positivity
either way
im going to use it
fuel it
to my rocket.
i can't apologize for blowing out sockets.
charge it to your speaker.
maybe next lifetime i might be meeker

Love Tour 4/02/010*

Halo
above my head
and under my feet.
Technically
i have been here before...
Its all too familiar,
transformations
reformations
-teleport
to this place again.
But nothing is new under the sun;
so i can't be the only one.
Feeling like this:
maybe i'm the only one you cease to understand.

Sunshine

all day and everytime I pray.
You can dig in deep
and see my soul
beat.
To the solo
of your melody.
Tell me
this is a permanent dream.

Dirty Money
but the Steelo is Clean.
Undercover and Overtop
I am what I am;
in a world full of can'ts

Shapel can.

So allow me to spill
rainbows of light
decked out in aspirations
of mental vacations
with tricked out dedications
to those that came before me
and those i'mma do it for.

this is nothing less
or
nothing more
than my love tour.

Try Me 4/09/010*

So I guess I am the Idealistic Realist
who Dreams with her Eyes Open
'Cept
She blinded by the Light
and can understand why its so Dark
Humans are tender creatures
with Egos
overshadowing their existence
but thats all your Ego is a shadow...
Always there
may scare you
may make you seem bigger
may make you seem smaller
Illusion
Seclusion
is a failure
cause we all need to be nearer
and closer
cause its Kosher
to want and need to be
be
be
LOVED
and hugged
and told you are Beautiful
and its a duty too
but I do it with Please
and ease
cause I believe
I can change life to be more Shapel-like
or rather
Shapelesque
and yes
I am a Beautiful Mess
and Yes
Best Believe I Bes Blessed
and Truth Over Fact
I am Just Like The Rest.

Press Play.
Try Me.

the slamming of these doors
the banging on the doors
the rising of the voice
the mess
the shallow thoughts
i feel and see around me
is draining my soul.
from the heart
i'm trying my best to not be in the dark
for too long
and i know I get tired sometimes
but "they" need me to be strong.

shut up.
and
fall back.

let me exhale.


dag.

Mr. Marley

I swear to you all that Bob Marley is one of my Heros. I get his message without the weed. No disrespect but in this age and in this society I can't have my vital organs crying out do you hear me? I need oxygen and you putting death in me...no offense to my herbal lighters. But some people feel that weed is the world and there is no other way to see life. But I'm gonna stop here because I am no criticizer or judge for this life we gotta live. Right now. I'm done..I can't get too deep. Free myself.

shoot.

love me while I can smell the flowers. <3

I'm with Danah and we are at the Greater Hopewell CME Church. Today is the day that we are serving the community of Atlanta. It is so beautiful out here , the sun is out and its a cool breeze coming through at least under thee trees, little bbirdies are chirping and all of this makes me feel tranquil and at happy ease.We are going to be installing energy efficient lightbulbs in apartments so that their energy bills do not cost as much :) well time to get off my Mollie.

People breaking hearts is an unsolved mystery. I am gonna sulk for 5 minutes and then I'm gonna smile and free throw your energy back into the universe with positive notes. I need to be on my grind and hustle my chat and chit. So no more time , valuable time shall be spent on things not progressing. I want people to come with me but I can't make you. I just stole this poster from Solo.

People breaking hearts is an unsolved mystery. I am gonna sulk for 5 minutes and then I'm gonna smile and free throw your energy back into the universe with positive notes. I need to be on my grind and hustle my chat and chit. So no more time , valuable time shall be spent on things not progressing. I want people to come with me but I can't make you. I just stole this poster from Solo.

The only question worth asking is : Why is Shapel up in a white dress remembering why we were founded at such early times in the day? This would be a million times better if Shapel got sleep! Shapel is tired. Shapel is so exhausted. Founder's Day oh Founder's Day...why do you treat me so?

I GAVE UP......

FOR NOW.

TOO HOT. NOT HOME.

THANKS FOR THE FAITH.

I PROMISE NEXT TIME WILL BE THE BEST TIME.

LOVE ME STILL. PLEASE.

CHEWING ON AIR!!! WITH VOICES IN MY HEAD!

I think I can make it , I mean 120 hours after today is not a long time...right?

Either way I am going to continue to pray that I make it. This green concoction is so familiar and it reminds me of my great and late Aunt Nandi who was a vegan. She would always have this tall bottle of green mixtures in the refrigerator. Her spirit was so pure and I miss her a lot. I know she can see me and I know she will be one of those voices in my head that whispers continue...press forward.

But this is what I want ...or rather this is what I need to let go of most lol.

and its funny because I don't even eat cake like that. !

Day Two: These are the Times...

I survived. It is so hard. I am my biggest motivator along with the Creator.

Just five more days and then I can see the results of the seed I sowed. =)

I'll make it ...although the green juice I made tastes horrible.

Hopefully that opinion will change or else too bad because this is something I just need to do.

Be Back Later , I have a class in twenty minutes.

on my journey ..i look to youtube for some inspiration in my quest

"Living in harmony with the will of the Creator."

So just for the clear up of things...I am doing this spiritual fast in which for seven whole days Shapel will be consuming liquids only. I know I will get irritated because I am going to have this strong desire to chew. But I have faith and devotion to grow closer to Self and the Creator.

I wrote the above around noon and now it is 10:34 pm and I want to do more than chew ...I want to chomp. There is so much negative energy around me pleading me to give up and this is only day one.

I just have to survive for six more days ...please.

Day One : So it began...

I practice forgiveness so that I , too, may be forgiven, for it is the will if the Creator.

Today is the first day of my adventure...I am excited and slightly scared. But fear is of low vibrancy and I wish to live on higher planes. So this fear will rid itself slowly but surely. I will not consume any solid foods for the next six days. Six whole days. I will get through this because I know my spirit is of great heights and this is only as I strive to be in the reflection of the Creator.

It is such a beautiful day outside ...everyday I see now , I see with so much beauty.
Despite all that occurs I am really lucky to be here...to witness it all.

Now I hope I have supporters out there and I hope you guys are praying for my survival through this so that one day soon I will be a guide on our path to purity.

As for now I have to walk to Save-A-Lot and get some greens...

This day will be updated and until then remember that I sincerely love. I am. I sincerely love.

Peace& Blessings.

Pre-Day

Now that I have some of your attention...

Tomorrow starts my long yet short adventure. I am going on a nutritional and spiritual fast. For I shall only consume Water,Tea,Citrus Water and Green Liquids. I am going to go to Save-A-Lot tomorrow and purchase some greens: spinach,kale,broccoli,lettuce and etc.

Have me in your prayers and in your thoughts...please and thank you<3

I am on a journey...I probably shouldn't be searching but there is something inside of me that needs to be fulfilled and I am at this stage and point in my life where I can not wait, I can not stop and think about what people think about me ..how you perceive me...at the end of the day I have to wait and sit back and analyze if you would even MATTER at the end of the day?

But

you do.

So this is why I am doing it for Self and more importantly for the Love of you.

In time you will figure it out...one day it can be oh so simple.

**That was of no effort to emulate Ms.Badu but to show that I am trying to find myself...and see how much I care about society's thoughts on how I should live my life.

So the wireless is not working here ... I am taking this as a sign that Shapel doesn't need to be on the computer at the moment. Maybe she needs to put her little Mollie, which is my Blackberry, down. After I post these empty thoughts, I will read my Heal Thyself by the wonderful and beautiful Queen Afua. School is almost over and I guess I can not wait. This summer will be one of deep reflection. I am having previews of what it will be like now.

Because a lot has happen to me in my life , as in everyone's life , I think I'm going to sit up or rather lay down and just ponder about it all. The fact that I put my heart into this leaves me with one of two things and they are both on the extreme side of things: great pleasure or great pain.

I'm not asking for a superman , I'm not even asking for you to fully understand...I just want you to feel me , just a little bit.

Why do people insist on playing games with emotions? Lol. I really hate to sound all sensitive and I really hate to hear people say Stop acting all emotional. This only leaves me to think is it human to act emotion less. I have so many things on my mind. And so many places I'm trying to find.

Chinese seriously might be the death of me -__- this reciting in Mandarin is killing me LOUDLY!

Life is good otherwise.

This will be rather short.

Much Love.

Tupac- Keep Ya Head Up is on. I am feeling some type of way. So muchh can go on during a period as short as four hours. Where am I going? What am I doing? What is this? How much does it take? This song reminds me that throughout all this pain we really have to encounter in life , there is a righter day and there is a way for you to see your self and your purpose. Life can be a trip...one day you can be so insecure and the next day you can be so narcissistic? I'm sick of trying to please everyone ..but I'm in this world to satisfy others but not exactly ... ah bah hum. im babbling -__-. I JUST WISH SOMEONE COULD UNDERSTAND ME. As I sit here trying to cry.

it doesn't make me feel better when people go well someone is going through 10x the pain you are.

it makes me want to cry =[

how to deal with pain 101.

1 member.

peace.

Free Willy Theme analyzed by Shapel and related to a philosophy in my heart

Hold me, like the river jordan
And I will then say to thee
You re my friend

Carry me, like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there…

I can never stress enough the fact that we need to be there for each other. That we will all PERISH and can never prosper alone. This life we walk is not one meant to travel on foot all the time , when you are tired. We are a community and a family. Millions upon millions have died and passed on just so you and i can become united.

Weary, tell me will you hold me?

Cause I will. To my last breath I will hold you down.

When wrong, will you scold me?

When lost will you find me?

I am not one to be the judge but when you feel sometime does not connect with your inner being. Answer that voice and do what you believe in your heart is truly right. I will always remind you of your destiny which is to be nothing less than magnificent and influential.

But they told me a man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end but I'm only human.

We are only mere mortals. Little humans but one must remember that is the scale of our souls that leaves another account of great heights.

We are only human and this makes us no less equal to accomplishing things of superb measure. The fear of achieving shall be diminished and the blaze of love and caring should always flame forever bright<3

Shot at My Heart ; if you destroy my art...

Graffiti is simply doing what your Ancestors did in my case;

i mock Ancient Egyptians with spiritual inscriptions but

you think my art is a contradiction.

You think i write on skyscrapers to get attention.

and you know what,

maybe you deem to be precise

in fact that alone will suffice.

i'm bringing awareness

cause i can not bear this-

care less ness

where is our fear less ness

we come from a line

defined

with a nexus of symbols and texts

so why would you dedicate

all this energy to texts

i'm guilty and i know this

but i know that ignorance is not bliss

because i see those images of black fists

power

power

we are the people

power

power

race is a divider

and racism is lethal

Evil will never prosper as long as i come to grasp

and i unveil the masked.

The devil's flask

soon runs hollow

and presumptions you make are shallow

follow

the golden brick road

to the value of your soul.

The wise never grow old

but young and light

as their spirit takes flight

to planes of tranquil energies

and you need to see

as long as this will be

you cannot extinguish

My Love.

My Passion.

My Art.

Ablaze with Ether

from the Master Teacher.

until Kingdom come.

until Kiingdon come.

in a wireless world
no wonder my wires are fraying
dictionaries are full of empty meaning and sayings;
knees wobble from the constant praying
day out and day in
i don't know where to begin
Where do I start?
How am i apart
of this...
Someone pump the brakes
on my cerebral
Please someone stop
Racing isn't legal
chasing is too feeble
and conceitedly
I feel way too regal
to waste around and wait
Debate
on reasons that do not add up
to your cracked measuring cup
oops
your bad
my good
luck.
and



i guess it sucks.


echo*
on reasons that don't add up

3 o s in a forest made a sound* 3/09/010

all i really want is one of ya'll to understand me,
through the loud clothes and the make-up , price tags and receipts and fees.
and all i really want is for you to feel ,
what could be real
but
who am i to judge
to say dreaming is too much.
so what i'm really saying
if you can hear my loud conscience,
theres even division and levels amongst nonsense.
i don't know who puts the stop it
and makes up these definitions
but i do know why they never taught me grammar mechanisms.
and i know why they clipped my wings - i was too high
and i know why they chopped my feet- i was too grounded.
i am
lost in the sauce,
and still spiritually founded.
dreams, hopes of hard LaBordes i mean laborers
sweat , blood and tears bounded
to make me.
so think?
could i really fake thee.
could i be another sigh of defeat
not if i'm that cry of relief
not if i turnt my history too
a familiar leaf
one of
glory,pride,community,love and wisdom
one where everything was in change
and nothing was new under the sun
according to Kiing Solomon
and being a Kiing myself
i think of no better man to follow than
a leader of illuminated truth
not the effect on PhotoBooth-
Glow
and just so you know
i never asked for it
i never asked for much
but you can feel me before you see me
now talk about touched...

Adore-Prince

oh my goodness.

i don't think people realize how good of a song ADORE is.

PRINCE.

ate that song. (lol)

that is a baby making i mean

babies made

song.

let someone come singing that song to me....

have mercy.

<3

all i can say that is love in every shape and form. whoa.

I don't want to wait in Vain for your Love...

*look at the spirit gleaming from this beautiful man*

Hello All,

I'm home in New York City.

On this oh so beautiful day.

The sun is out and now that my room has been painted gold

it really has a calm yet invigorating feel to my soul.

I'm not even trying to be spiritual and poetic.

I just feel so good.

I'm listening to Bob Marley- Waiting in Vain is playing.

It reminds me of sweet nothings and bliss filled kisses.

That is a true commitment , to wait for someone's love.

but i guess

its worth it?

Love is kind.

Love is patient.

Love is true.

but I think that if Love is so kind it wouldn't make me wait?

or

maybe it is doing so to let me see what its worth and how good it really is?

either way

whoever might say

on any given day

gotta love Bob Marley <3

self query about the secular world 3/03/010

and the voice said in time young grasshopper

for although you are them and the reflection is thee

they are their

and you are me

i still need you to be

everything that you see

in blind sight

with your eyes wide shut

to all the negativity

and your soul opened to

the

light

that shines

special for you and me

cause i am yours forever

plus a day

and if living was done without you

i would give my breathe away

just so your atman could

sway

and

stay over and

under me.

cuddling my thoughts

making my heart

always room temperature and

above-

vivid skies

momentarily cries

bittersweet lies

corporate neckties

sapped sighs

stings from slapping skins

and i don't mean high fives,

not part with

your crusade for

equanimity.

let's talk about sex...baby?!?!

So I'm sitting in Cosby thinking to myself all the things I was talking about last night and one of my past discussions in class , and something struck me.Is sexuality bad or good ? I personally believe that sexuality is good in the sense that you are conscious of what your sexuality is. Being in tact with your sexuality shows either a level of being comfortable or insecure.
Last night as I was joking around with a few people in my dorm , claiming I'm stimulating my clitoris and there is "jizz" all over the place while laughing , I stopped and thought what if I was serious. LOL. Would it be all bad. I do not tie naiive , pure, angelic, "good" girl with bad just because you're knowledgable about sex.

So the next time you're alone look at your body and love it , feel comfortable.

• Breathe in your aroma.

i'm pretty serious.

Who else can really love you like you?

Peace&Prosperity

Wars, poverty, disease and death are inhaled more than oxygen itself.
The fact that this world lacks positive energy we in turn have an immense amount of negative energy. Do we as a people really interact with each other?
The majority of society is selfish. The seven deadly sins have taken a tool on our society and actions. What can we turn to in this age of chaos? Perhaps peace?

Peace is an action that we need to take towards each other. Because we all have a desire to be powerful and wealthy we do not heed to many morals and we sometimes lose our integrity. The Elite usually forget that they are human and possess mortal qualities. Why is the majority of any country poor?

A common fact in the modern world is that money is an issue. People have the task of paying bills and in these days everything is becoming priced high. Poverty is one of the most terrible things the world has seen. Can people who barely have enough or nothing at all, react peacefully in the world? Well it depends on the person but many people have a higher chance of being criminal like when they are poor.


We all strive for peace, but is it strength wasted and foolish thoughts? When people are being denied a comfortable life and simple things like education , do we really expect the world to be at rest? A bigger question is are we all equal? In the United States of America do we all possess the same rights? These are some of the basic questions we need to ask ourselves.

AfterBirth

I never wanted to write a weak poem
and I told myself that I couldn't ,
create something the opposite of strength.
Criticizing myself with every swerve and curve
of my instrument.
Pressing down putting pressure
and going in.
Thinking of something clever.
To capture the audience and hold it.
Hold it.
Focus on me.
I have something to say and
I'm realizing it might not be pretty and it may sound silly.
Everyone whines about love.
Everyone yells when they're angry.
So what can I do?
What can I do.
To set me apart from this image you already made of me.
All I want to be
is me?
Do I really want to be me?
How can I be?
Who am I?
Depends on who you ask.
Depends on the day and the time.
Depends on how big my pockets are...
well maybe not that part because I can't let
this money thing change me.
I can't let these Benjamins rename me.
I can't let George Washington and Jefferson claim thee.
Working hard for a paper
slaving.
To the grave-and
never getting a chance to just breathe.
Take it easy.
Let go of the pen just a little bit ,
breathe in and out
and you don't always have to shout.
To be heard.
Focus outside of yourself
and look around and start
making moves to unite.
I guess I'm kind of strong.
I mean I took this paper and pencil
and I just messed up your mental.

BUMtalk

Another day , another day
No ore dollars.
I'm even losing sense.
What do I have left?
Do I hold my respect
on a shelf higher than the law?
Do I hold my pride
in a room bursting through walls?
Do I still hold love...
inside of my pulsating heart.
Does determination pump through my veins
and seep out my body
and leave an aroma in the air?
Erasing all fear
and thoughts
of failure and disgrace ,
and to now think ,
would I really hide my face
and slow my pace
In life.
Just because people cannot embrace
What I'm feeling inside...
You want me to lie
for the sake of your approval.
You're wishing I were fake.
As harmful as Barbie herself.
Warping the minds of children in society.
Telling them this look will complete thee.
See,
I know the extent of my ignorance.
Therefore I'm in partial control.
Feigning for knowledge got me here
and people still look with disdain.
“Completely deranged!”
“You should be ashamed...”
“Society's stain!”
“Parents to blame!”
“Stop playing games!”
“She needs to be tame!”
Pause.
Rewind...
Tame be to needs she
Games playing stop
Blame to parents
Stain society's
STOP!
Trying to shape Shapel !
I know the value of money .
Destroyed our mentality and separated us as a people.
So please! Spare some change I can actually use.
Denied life over paper.
Another crime , another crime
No more time.
I'm even losing lines.

Ode to La Nandi

Im damaging to your system
like free radicals
holding your mind in a abstract cell.
now you wanna free radicals?
and Im talking like revolutionaries like concord 18sumthing like haiti like assatta.
whose hotter?
than I
he begged to differ and she cried
im not floating on air drops but im floating on souls who died.
Shapel be fly
fly fly
high high
higher than swift winds
higher than big ben and green benjamins
lined with snowflakes
i bake the cakes
i walk on lakes
i was always fake.
so now i'm real?
alien android ascending and asexual.
one puff puff
dont tote and pull.
i'll take your spirit and i'll do something with it.
i'll have a new era and you all would be fitted
to this vision Allah blessed upon me
rainbows stretching from sea to see
see what i'm talking about
you shouldn't cut me off.
telling me I can't dream
like you was too Supreme and I don't got it like Diana Ross.
whose the boss?
i guess me because
i'm no diva.
no long pretty eyelashes
only scars and whip lashes.
no smooth butter skin.
only textured like ripped stained hems
hymns sung like early in the church on sunday morning
yesterday my family was mourning
and my aunts soul was yawning
ready to dive
ready to dive into the great
ready to seal fate
ready to be dead and live again.
ready to wake up from the nap and begin.
I loved her with my heart and she is 56.98723%
of me.
But remember Shapel be fly
no lie
you noticed.
Bawling tears never came
I can't kiss her but there is no pain
Sunny days are cute and all but I like the rain.
And the raindrops keep falling on my head.
Letting me know everything is going to be all right
you said.
Although a lot of you have went and left
I'll stay and fight for whats right.
Lay my life for future rights.
The Most High gives me the might
Shapel be fly
as a kite
I'll soar high
but that string is still keeping me grounded—iight?

mondayMOURNING - 2/15/010

you can call me kiing P
sipping on green tea
thinking
carefree and dangerously
pencil in hand
thoughts on demand.
no tv. just
a dilla beat
in the
air,
"no man will I ever fear" [ipod engr.]
NY times in hand
same sad story -today
I guess we never stop
and say
enough
so we continue to pray
not for the people
but for our souls.
give us Rest;
lest
We lose all sense of self.
I doubt we will ever know what we want in a
society of fog.
some want love,lust,sex,money,drugs
some need peace,blessings,smiles,laughter,happiness
every Breath we take
is a gift of debt
we make.

Intro to Your History 101 - 2/19/010

no i'm not a racist
but i will claim this:
there's something about my race and-
since i'm no atheist
i guess its not just fate then.
cause this Black thing
is the
best attribute.
i kid you,
not.
learning about the history
of
my people
got me thinking we must be the sequel.
cause there is no way i can be equal
to such great heights.
Black Panther parties and movements of Civil Rights.
as intense as the fight
foreman vs. ali.
rumble in the jungle.
would i dare be a young fool
and think its cool
to drop out of school
and let negativity rule
my self.
could I
honestly
turn blind to my past
and be considered an As-
no no
this is the only can't I
simply can not do.
In fact i'm going
to ask
and try to grasp
yesteryear
because its not gone
its my birthright.
i'm not a spin-off.
i'm a by-product.
no i'm not a racist
but i will claim this:
there's something about my race and-
since i'm no atheist
i guess its not just fate then.
cause this Black thing
is the
best attribute.
i kid you,
not.
learning about the history
of
my people
got me thinking we must be the sequel.
cause there is no way i can be equal
to such great heights.
Black Panther parties and movements of Civil Rights.
as intense as the fight
foreman vs. ali.
rumble in the jungle.
would i dare be a young fool
and think its cool
to drop out of school
and let negativity rule
my self.
could I
honestly
turn blind to my past
and be considered an As-
no no
this is the only can't I
simply can not do.
In fact i'm going
to ask
and try to grasp
yesteryear
because its not gone
its my birthright.
i'm not a spin-off.
i'm a by-product.

cognizance 2/24/010

the reality of the situation
is that yes, maybe
just maybe
who am i kidding.
i've been impatient.
running,
zipping-
racing
and dashing
pumping my brakes-
way too late
and ending up crashing
feet first
cause i can already see how I'm going to land
and
i think
i overstand
my physical existence.

a signal
flashed when
i played double dutch with gravity.
and i held all the resistance.

a song
kissed my eardrum
when i was the one who
was about to run,

but


i levitated
into a dimension
that not so many people can mention
and i sit back kind of wishing
that i wasn't on detention
because knowledge
is a dangerous tool.
i mean i know knifes, guns and drugs
weren't allowed in school.

but

now i can't even bring my mind.
and
and my sanity isn't even all mine.

my skill and mastery
has the government coming after me
has third eye open ; i can finally see
no longer blind,deaf or mute.
i can finally be.
all that the most high intended for thee.

i'd put my sole
on the line.
think about that
i'd
put
my
sole
on
the
line.

morning breeze 2/23/010

inspire.
woke up this morning.
grateful.
blessed to see.breathe.think
but most importantly
live
another moment.
because even if I do not make it
through for a day.
i would pass on to say-
"thank you, everything is okay"
recognizing
my gift of the present
and how i live
each nanosecond
influence the presence-
gone by for past.

brightening.
beautiful colored
faces.
making them morph into
shiny canvas of
familiar places.
cause every time i look
into your eyes
i can remember
[if i briefly forgot]
why.
why.

why i love today.
why i pray today.
why i dance today.
why i sing today.
why i praise life and all its chapters
i'll faced.
why i am here today.

love.love.love.
maybe mr.hathaway can explain to you..
Love love love you can't imagine what you did to me aww baby
and love love your love everytime you smile it goes
through me all the time

who are you to not realize
what you are to this world
when you seperate paritcles in the air,
where things something get thin so
whywould i be without you or better still
how could i be without you.

So I wrote a poem on February 22nd 2010.

I put it up on my notes on facebook and surprisingly a good amount of people liked this poem...

thank you.

i sincerely am grateful that you feel me and you love something i produced.

<3

Pretty Girls 2/22/010

all these pretty girls.
all these pretty girls.
all these pretty girls.
all around
me.
completely shadowed by these
pretty faces.
competition not for me.

pretty girls
i won't even dare step up to your plate.
pretty girls
you get the highest rate.
[5 star]
pretty pretty girls
nothing is ever late
with you.
you're always in time.

vogue.
elle.
cosmopolitan.
baby girls out of this
world.
so what of the plain
girl.

imma tear it up--
plain girl.
plain girl.
you on anotherplane girl.

so fly.
so high.

above them.

doing the do.
they can never front you boo.
never enter the contest cause you couldn't lose.

they needed jimmy choos.
7 feet heel , those is shoes.
just to reach you.
they needed moulin rouge.
face airbrushed and hair touched up.
just to hold a teacup
to you.
they need gucci,louie and burberry.
all you needed was your pen,pad and strawberry--
orbit gum.

a complete degree.
pure.
simple. full.
you do not lack beauty.
you reek of it.
so do not fit
into a pre-molded
wish of the masses.

plain girl.
plain girl.
they may rock diamonds.
but you
you're my classic pearl.

zoned.

Love is painful

Tears are repetitive

What hurts most is that this is the way its to be.

Fight for rights

whats wrong? when thats all you know..

in this cold cold world.

Is someone ever gonna put the heat on!

I'll stay in the kitchen.

I put my heart and soul on this.

My mind if I could find it

I wouldn't even put it up for sale.

Thats all I have left and through all the chaos it has not fail.

I might not make it.

But I want you to know that all I want is for the world to experience

7 mins of peace.

But because I want it I doubt it will happen.

Please watch the children.

the children are the future ...all we got....all we got.

Fuget.The Money.

the evil = exterminate it.

communal spirits urge me to say these things

I really believe I am possessed and I don't think its a poem

It s more of a testimony

and even if I edit it

It still won't come out right.

I don't know what I am doing here ..

I feel as if the string is being lighted and it makes me feel at peace inside.

I'm not depressed or sad.

Im not angry or mad.

I never wanted to be good or bad.

I just wanted t live.

I just wanted to love.x2

but its something abut death that sounds so promising...

Why are we so scared, its not final.

Forever living ...forever dying.

tear stained blouses and bloody mouths for speaking out.

I don't know.

Black History Month Beginnnsssss

omm.

Yeah I'm back from Nigeria since the 17th of January but we will talk about that in another post.

I think we as people take a lot of things for granted in this impermanent world. Now in 2010 , I'm losing people. People I called friends. People I love still even though they can't see what they do. But who is too blame , I'm not to blame neither or they but there is always a problem. Is it me? No. I don't think , I'm being to harsh or "digging in too deep about nothing."I am a reformed person. There is no time worth spending on stress and drama. There are people who I lived with and seen with my own eyes , that need to be sheltered and fed. My thoughts at the moment are alittle all over the place but basically I guess my past never really knew me...

here's to the moment of now.

thats all we can really count on....

i just got my permit..=] finally,

gibbermiss

6ft over the top .

Ego trippin'

Pride sippin'

popping pills

and laughing none stop.

But don't think its the normalcy thats got me this way.

Don't think its my Lucky Birthday.

I'm high off the atom

that I sniffed and got caught in my brain.

Geekin out crazier than that man on the F train.

I breathe some strong ish.

Some realness..some thing that could kill fish..

only to make them fly higher than exponents of ten.

And then

give me a smooch .

Princess and the frog .

Kiss on my lips.

I might have to throw in some more equations so they can get their height up .

Cause I'm way higher , 7x flyer and 3x lethal if you multiply her.

Divide her and she would knock your boots off.

As for teams, I leave that to people who are looking to win,

I just want to see who and what is at the end.

jive turkey.

Friday

I have decided to renovate my room in New York. I will be living here longer than I had presumed. To be real I do not want to leave my grandmother all alone and I will not have money for all those bills if I was to be thrown out after college lol. So I am thinking that I will have Gold walls , Green carpet , White flat LCD t.v. , wall decor and decals of birds on trees, plant life and a tall bookcase. I want a serene paradise feel.

I will put before and after pictures up soon hopefully.

As for now I must decide to get my lazy behind up and clean =[