http://www.ustream.tv/channel/theshapelshow

watch me =]

i lost my best friend ...again

and its over the same things

so was he my best friend to begin with?

Reexamining all these factors in my life and reevaluating my circumstances has led me to believe that a lot of things are meant to end. i realize more an more that i am becoming disappointed because foolishly i expect a lot. now this does not mean i am soon to become pessimistic or cynical...it simply means that i am going to slow down ..keep my hopes up but slow down.

what are these little red bugs all around the AUC?

anyways

I pray that i make it to india.i pray that my car will be okay.. i pray i can come back to spelman.

i pray that PSG will be all it was envisioned in my mind to be ( with the Creator's hand). i pray i will never give up on life and i pray someone out there will appreciate me solely for shapel.

no questions. no strings attached.

its a beautiful day out here and its funny how when i'm by myself and with no one around ..i can exhale.

when everyone is around i inhale it all and i feel it all around.

HAHA the security guard at the library just said SMILE...and you know what i did.

i will continue to do that...smile.

cause Life is Good. =]

This class really blows mine. But I'm not about to act crazy. Lol this man swears everyone wants to work for IBM and every "tip" is related to working in a suit and tie in some sleazy corporation.

Need for this class to be over so that I can go to my bed and chill , I can not wait to get to India but first I must make it to New York City. I miss my baby love , we never get to play and hang out.

I guess I was Sally.

and all those boys were Bob.

LOL.

i don't like ya'll

Address:

Dearest Most High

Cloud #9

Paradise, Heaven 123

To the Creator,

i contemplated death in the shower today

and what it would take if i gave my life away

just so that they could stay

and make a change

i guess its selfish that i want you(them) to do better

and never

give up hope.

i see the beauty

in my people

and the light in their eyes

and i hear the hymns of freedom

and i hear the silent cries.

in a society where you're pressed to steal another's spot

i can see how being yourself is not

popular or trendy

and how we can't help each other out but we can cop a new fendi-

purse

and i guess its a black person's curse

to always want to rock

diamonds, pearls, silver and gold

but i was told

the true wealth resides in the bling of your soul...

and my mother my father - cause the creator you are one,

i never was the perfect type

i could barely make the prototype of being the One.

Just help me , guide me in the understanding

cause if i do fall off this cloud,

i'll be grounded in my landing.

some people won't believe the things i've thought about

some people can't imagine the things i've dreamt about

forever in your image

thats the best shadow in front of me

not blinded by the truth -i shall always let it be

my eyes are always open but

somehow i can't fully see. . .

Love By No Measures,

your child shapel.

Humps and Bumps along the Road

I just finished washing my hair and I feel so much better. Its something about washing hair that is really deep...well at least for me. I massage my mind with my fingertips , smoothly and with care. I wash away the stress and the pain. I put the puzzles of my thoughts back in order. I love Beauty 4 Ashes and Carol's Daughter..anything thats natural and aromatic.

So I decided that after I slay this Spel-folio, Art Project , and ADW paper...I am gonna chill. Chill like chill was my middle name.

I want to study herbs and plants.

I need to learn more about the Earth and the Cosmos.

superficial things leave this hole in me...

try hard thats when you die hard...

Part Deuce In A Truce To Nico * --about 4//20

Recreational fun ,
Hotter than the suns
your lungs are screaming.
respect you life
be real to dreaming..

the beat , the drum all has meaning.
time does not exist-but this
this superficial bliss
this aromatic kiss
is a DIS
to my Creator
the one who made ya,
the one who saves ya,
the one who bathes ya in Love.
SO why
why do we find more and more excuses to turn to drugs,
a new age but old days
Mayans and Egyptians
had different ways
the modern youth
lack respect , individuality and cooth.
Television is the premonition
of a future based on
zombie eyes and slurred diction.

Life is Fiction.

Spielburg was over my head the other morning
and Monsters dedicated their growls to me but I thought I was yawning..

i promise i am not against WEED.

your shallow purpose...

your excuse.

makes me sigh*

How I Feel about the Crutch of Weed. 4/20/010*

i get high

high

high

Everyday

i get high

high

high

Everynight

i get high

high

high

all the time

and no no no

i do not smoke nickel and dimes

but i got a bag of funk

like Digable Planets

and my honest truth please

don't reprimand it

respect i demand it

peace i command it

love and life...

i'm still trying to understand it.

Why we hurt each other and fall on false statements wearing the mask of truth..

like

why we gotta get high and hide our tools

of pure spirituality

and by God I mean I must

make clear

Bob Marley is my hero and my heart to him I hold dear.

But Brother Bob and Teacher Marley

you didn't want cool kids to just say gnarley

you didn't want hip youth to just be"daring"

sit up all day and night staring

and void of all life's caring

staring into their mirror of fear

they close their eyes twice

cause their dreams they couldn't bare.

No one told them

its okay to rely on Self

and learn to love the Soul and the Heart

before they take flight on a few moments of stark unfulfilled joy

you see life is not a toy

but we all have to play

i'm not the judge so i have no say

on that day

but your body is a temple

and your mind is a prism

so shine and continue to pray

no disrespect to 4/20,

but big ups to September and May.

Shapel the girl with many names...

i called to say hello

you answered to say goodbye

i wanna lift you up

you drop me from the sky

i land on the cloud

you make lightening streak

i had to speak

you called me weak

i wanted your love

you wanted my joy

i told you meant the world

you played me for another girl

i am happy for you

you will never understand why.

They say tears dry on their own

even in an empty room

i will not be alone.

Give me grace

Give me space

Give me a taste

of the sweetest shrug

the question of

messing up

a real thing.

whats actual and factual

i could know less

and you're the number 2 fronter

on to the next-

one

but i don't think we're done

although you think you have the remote

be free

set sail

life's a boat

i know they told you it was a dream

I have so many confessions to relay. I am sinking because I am holding on to a lot of dead weight. My problem I believe is that I think too much and I contemplate. I do not wait but I waste. Moments are not to be wasted. I fall in love everyday. Its so hard to fall out when its like a ladybug on your shoulder. . .

I learn everyday but these lessons make me feel like I am staying in the same place. But I know I must be growing...
If only If only


I wish I can untie that knot that sits inside of my stomach. I wish that I wouldn't fall and get all these bruises. I wish that people can love me for what I am. What I stand for.Why I sit.

As I listen to the song that sings about my life , I think about the most recent relations I've had with people.How I have dived in feeling empty and that had to be my most beautiful and biggest mistake. Love is.

and although I am not looking for love , I do adore it.

I miss the way things always start out.
the sweetest beginnings
and I want it to be the sweeter endings.

but ...
there it goes.
THAT desire thing.

Dear Most High, Hey whats up , its Shapel. Yeah I wrote on this mirror in an attempt to remind myself to be more like you... I want to be more like you but I'm seeming to be more like me..or maybe its you... HELP ME love live feel care understand love MORE! your child, shapel <3

boy boy .

i'm done.

i found some better toy toys.

and trynna figure you out

is one big stress knot.

but thats not in my bloodstream.

but it was cute while it lasted.

samo samo.

I read earlier that the more you care less about what people think , and this means truly care less , the more free you become...

i am changing.
and i pray to the most high that this is all for the better.

people do not see the in-sanity to my daily.
let me put it this way,

i take expo markers and write full length letters to the Lord on my mirror
leaving inscriptions " i am writing on this mirror to
become more like you , so
that when i look in the mirror , i remember this
...i am your child."

writing this paper has me thinking about other things and being in this lounge
has me wanting to scream. i am not angry right now. i am hurt? but i deserve it
? no...no one deserves to be hurt.

they say.
they always saying something.
they always say that shapel never makes sense and shes so so cool and she has immense amounts of style

but

all shapel is thinking

she makes non-sense so it must be true like non-fiction. her diction unmistakenly common. shapel's a finger on a hand , seperate but needs the rest ,the hand. she has no style. besides life.

i just want to live.
in peace.
in love.
in here.
in there.

just let me breathe, please.

--------i fall hard.
i swear to god.
or rather the creator
that i always cry later
and laugh now
and its no more masking now.
i need to bask and bow
before the light
im tired of the fight
i am wrong and right
you think i'm loose
but i think you're tight
you need to just let it be
like the four london boys
said
let it be.

if you could know that i care so much about you

and the fact that i see so much hurt and lost everytimeyou come around me..

when i look at you i see a little bit of shapel in you.

you wonder why and how love could do you like that you like i once did,

but that was not love baby that was a step-cousin

it really didn't mean nothing.

and you mean the world to me

you are my everything

and i want to chase you and make you believe

but im no houdini

i'm tired of running

and i don't have the mojo -martini

i'm just saying how i feel

and i am becoming tired of

losing you

losing you

and gaining heartache

time after time

i hope

soon you'll understand.

birthright?

So what itches me a bit is the topic of legacy,endowment and expectations. People and separations and privileges. Just because someone else in your life was one thing are you a carbon copy? Are you suppose to be...Suppose ? Did the Creator implement you to be an exact. A same. In so much space why would we follow footprints. But I'm not saying be oh so unique but I'm just thinking why do we have to things if we know there is a possibility it doesn't feel right...

man.

bleh.

grind...

and i'm internally starved.

the people around me aren't fulfilling my hunger...see ya'll later.

soul searching.

i finally felt something.

In a room full of real human beings, I felt that this can't be it. Out of place.I'm not trying to be deep nor profound , I'm just saying whats on my heart right now at 1:48 am. I'm tired and I'm weary of people and their self-importance and I guess I contradict myself.

I know we are someone in the face of the Creator but why do we want to run things be the head of the show and know and know..

WHY are we so fake? I feel like I should tell people about themselves and I guess I'll have to take blows? Cause I can't stand the phony-ness and I can't sit it out. I'm no judge but why does my heart tell me you're not right. And by no means am I.

Can we just live it up? with no worries and no commitments besides to life itself? being ..pure..

i really can't worry about this anymore...i love you all. i really do

but

ya'll gonna be the death of me.

A Creature called Shapel

“You have to be someone.”-Bob Marley

“Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all.”

sometime my mind wonders away from me...

Have you ever seen a dreamer in real life ? -going fast in real life but it seems slow.

My life is a definition I'm still trying to find amidst all of this chaos. I am so lost and I really want to find myself. But I'm starting to think that maybe I am suppose to be here and maybe all of this isn't mislaid but in fact this is the exact place I should be right here and right now. Maybe my success is not defined by them or its quite possible that even my greatness in the face of the Creator, hasn't been witness yet.

I won't put myself on a pedestal and I won't stomp myself so low. I'm indescribable. Thats all I can think of. I want it all but nothing at the same time. Hopefully this will all work out in the favor of whats right and then whats left is that I was just a regular girl moving at a pace in tune with the world.

I think rather I know I am beautiful and kind because I look like my mother and not a soul can deny that beauty. I love my mother so much and I know next lifetime she will be a Queen with roses and lillies attached to her feet. I'll pray everyday for her health.

and

I know I'm tough , clever and human because I am my father's daughter. I am his. He has made many mistakes but I call the lessons and we are both learning in this day and at this present time. I take the weight and I play the cards well , I have a way with words. Daddy. Remember I called you that a few times. But I'm just like you , emotional but I won't tell the world. =)

“Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold...”-Bob Marley

Remember the moon in Nigeria , Agbogo? How we stayed outside until your mom called us and told its bedtime lol. The moon was so beautiful and full of promises and hopes and a portal for better.

LIFE IS ONE BIG SENTENCE LONG WITH SPACES AND INDENTS AND PUNCTATIONS AND IT MAKES SENSE AND NON-SENSE AT THE SAME TIME.?!-]

i'm so sick of being deep

i'm so tired of being simple

Let me think , give me alittle bit of time to place myself in a spot long enough so I can look in the mirror and say: " Thats it."

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”-Bob Marley

So I'mma Stop

Proceed with Caution

Yield with Love and

Slow Down with the Fast Life

and Go Live Naturally.

Mr.Marley is so right and I sweared before all of you that this man was my hero. One of the many. Love really doesn't leave me alone. No matter how many times I might try to forget it all , I remember how good it is to have Love. There is so much more love in this world than hate , its just waiting to be put frontstage and get its 15 seconds of fame , (A.Warhol)

now exhale.

alltrue,stick. 3/09/010*

i don't need no speaker.
i don't need no mic.
i don't need your beef.
i'm a vegan , iight.

(pause)
i don't wanna fight.

tonight.-
i don't need your drama.
i'm a sitcom for the masses.
life is a lesson,
gotta take extra classes.

credits rollin'
(pause)
feeling it all through your eyes.


lets see through tinted and lucid glasses.
cause you should know
not all humans are savage.
theres a light above
the love below
got me all -
here i go

caught up in a rapture
glorified
elated
kodak couldn't capture
the Meds can't sedate it.

not right in the head
left around the bend,
counting to ten
waitin' for the dark to come in..

sunlight.moonlight.starlight.
allbright.
(pause)

luminescence
in time's -essence
fills your presence
i got my blessing
no i'll never mess it
and when you 2 inches away
its not okay,
i always miss it.

(pause)
experience a song from your mouth.

i never thought i would see beauty
in this living tour
1st look
i was sure
and i fell for your allure
gracefully.

good thing.
great thing.
makes me wanna sing
songs of the past.
good things.
great things.
should always last

but
BUT


nothing is forever
unless its the greed for this chedda
although i wish it better
forecast the same weather
we can be alright;--
if we stay together
keep our minds sunny love and never
let the haters know their close and clever
we can stand the disasters whatever
cause me away from you my heart they will severe
put it in your pocket, cop it out tuck in, whenever
and if they ask you about with no doubt remember
i was true to you furthermost
and if you ever get lonely let me be your host<3

just Blaze 3/15/010.

True.
your mind might be on
another plane
in the sky or on the ground.
but
my mind is on a Rocket,
soaring and pouring
raining up
a brillant holocaust
i guess i'm mentally ill.

Simply,
a firecracker,
thats moves like a projectile

i'm still a slacker...

and never full.

cause i'm using 4%
from my pre-tense;
straight as a whistle
but
zig zagging like a
crooked
missile.

I am Light.








just Blaze.

on a piece of tissue 3/16/010

pretty soon,
i'll be this memory.
in the near past
that may visit your far future
with my translucent presentce;
this vivid youth
that plays
in my mind,
brings out the best in me
and you
brought out the warmth
and intimacy of a
alliance
of fate.
real life is but a dream
and i'm always awake
so this thing we have
i'll never call it a mistake.
<3

latenight earlymorning talkingsoulyawning 3/18/010*

have been beaten.
stomped to the ground.
lost looking to be found
trying to find a way.
find a way
out of all these
expectations.
imitations.
confrontations.
limitations.
on my destination,
wherever that may be
and if
just maybe
just maybe
if you could
feel where i'm coming from
and how i just seem to be
you could see
the beauty and light
i couldn't cage inside
the bird that sings a song
for my pain and laughter
and how lovely it sounds
even after
the tears have dried
and my heart skips awkwardly
123
123
123
easy it never has
and never will
seem.

one day might not come today
or tomorrow
and i can't be mad or live life in sorrow
about my yesterdays
but
there are times when i will feel down
and then i remember above all
i have life
and how dare i look below at my feet
bowing and not receiving
this love
this love
that
some how
manages to remind me
when all else leaves
and no matter how much
i will always feelfail
that love
will always be here.


thats real.

butter loaves 3/26/010*

people do ugly things
things they really can not truly mean.
why would they defiantly be mean
to me...
i just wanna love you like hov said
and i'll share my heart,the fish and the bread
like jesus did
just cause i love you.
but you don't know what you got until its gone
so long
and we will never make that beautiful song
unless its goes unwrong
but i might
no i'm pretty sure i'll meet you
treat you
greet you
next lifetime.
when when are in our right minds and we left places of
uncertainty
cause today i only know death is for sure
and its a beautiful transition.


*not suicidal , few will get this.. i'm working on the true genius.

soon come 3/29/010*

all these demons
feenin
to be in my future
to torture
the spirit
to diminish
and finish
my road to
the
good life.
but with much strife
and a cool stroll
i will rise above
with my feet on the ground.
let me go
let me go
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
leave
leave
i just want to be me
i just want to be me
even if you can't understand me
let me be me

after all
everyone else is taken.


ps:thanks to dani boy for making life alright. sisters before cousins*<3

Min Tha Ripper 3/29/010*

Loving you is easy because
you are Beautiful,
Loving like this lies (only) in the stars,
skies,
planets
and
moons;
this is blissfully true.
You
contribute to this extreme joy
that bursts from my heart and creates
a halo of
pure grace and good vibes
around me
over me
and
under me
the world watches
from below
who knew humans could fly?
who knew my wings-
could not come from a girl or a guy.

dedication to Minnie Ripperton<3>

@thelibrary a sudden thought 3/30/010*

i honestly do not try to be poetic
i dont even think im trying to be real.
and most of the times
i really do not know what to feel.
one day my flame could possibly go out
and i might give up
but i'll leave this earth on two feet
never in angular forms
straight up.
and im not empty
so fill me up
with negativity or positivity
either way
im going to use it
fuel it
to my rocket.
i can't apologize for blowing out sockets.
charge it to your speaker.
maybe next lifetime i might be meeker

Love Tour 4/02/010*

Halo
above my head
and under my feet.
Technically
i have been here before...
Its all too familiar,
transformations
reformations
-teleport
to this place again.
But nothing is new under the sun;
so i can't be the only one.
Feeling like this:
maybe i'm the only one you cease to understand.

Sunshine

all day and everytime I pray.
You can dig in deep
and see my soul
beat.
To the solo
of your melody.
Tell me
this is a permanent dream.

Dirty Money
but the Steelo is Clean.
Undercover and Overtop
I am what I am;
in a world full of can'ts

Shapel can.

So allow me to spill
rainbows of light
decked out in aspirations
of mental vacations
with tricked out dedications
to those that came before me
and those i'mma do it for.

this is nothing less
or
nothing more
than my love tour.

Try Me 4/09/010*

So I guess I am the Idealistic Realist
who Dreams with her Eyes Open
'Cept
She blinded by the Light
and can understand why its so Dark
Humans are tender creatures
with Egos
overshadowing their existence
but thats all your Ego is a shadow...
Always there
may scare you
may make you seem bigger
may make you seem smaller
Illusion
Seclusion
is a failure
cause we all need to be nearer
and closer
cause its Kosher
to want and need to be
be
be
LOVED
and hugged
and told you are Beautiful
and its a duty too
but I do it with Please
and ease
cause I believe
I can change life to be more Shapel-like
or rather
Shapelesque
and yes
I am a Beautiful Mess
and Yes
Best Believe I Bes Blessed
and Truth Over Fact
I am Just Like The Rest.

Press Play.
Try Me.

the slamming of these doors
the banging on the doors
the rising of the voice
the mess
the shallow thoughts
i feel and see around me
is draining my soul.
from the heart
i'm trying my best to not be in the dark
for too long
and i know I get tired sometimes
but "they" need me to be strong.

shut up.
and
fall back.

let me exhale.


dag.

Mr. Marley

I swear to you all that Bob Marley is one of my Heros. I get his message without the weed. No disrespect but in this age and in this society I can't have my vital organs crying out do you hear me? I need oxygen and you putting death in me...no offense to my herbal lighters. But some people feel that weed is the world and there is no other way to see life. But I'm gonna stop here because I am no criticizer or judge for this life we gotta live. Right now. I'm done..I can't get too deep. Free myself.

shoot.

love me while I can smell the flowers. <3

I'm with Danah and we are at the Greater Hopewell CME Church. Today is the day that we are serving the community of Atlanta. It is so beautiful out here , the sun is out and its a cool breeze coming through at least under thee trees, little bbirdies are chirping and all of this makes me feel tranquil and at happy ease.We are going to be installing energy efficient lightbulbs in apartments so that their energy bills do not cost as much :) well time to get off my Mollie.

People breaking hearts is an unsolved mystery. I am gonna sulk for 5 minutes and then I'm gonna smile and free throw your energy back into the universe with positive notes. I need to be on my grind and hustle my chat and chit. So no more time , valuable time shall be spent on things not progressing. I want people to come with me but I can't make you. I just stole this poster from Solo.

People breaking hearts is an unsolved mystery. I am gonna sulk for 5 minutes and then I'm gonna smile and free throw your energy back into the universe with positive notes. I need to be on my grind and hustle my chat and chit. So no more time , valuable time shall be spent on things not progressing. I want people to come with me but I can't make you. I just stole this poster from Solo.

The only question worth asking is : Why is Shapel up in a white dress remembering why we were founded at such early times in the day? This would be a million times better if Shapel got sleep! Shapel is tired. Shapel is so exhausted. Founder's Day oh Founder's Day...why do you treat me so?

I GAVE UP......

FOR NOW.

TOO HOT. NOT HOME.

THANKS FOR THE FAITH.

I PROMISE NEXT TIME WILL BE THE BEST TIME.

LOVE ME STILL. PLEASE.

CHEWING ON AIR!!! WITH VOICES IN MY HEAD!

I think I can make it , I mean 120 hours after today is not a long time...right?

Either way I am going to continue to pray that I make it. This green concoction is so familiar and it reminds me of my great and late Aunt Nandi who was a vegan. She would always have this tall bottle of green mixtures in the refrigerator. Her spirit was so pure and I miss her a lot. I know she can see me and I know she will be one of those voices in my head that whispers continue...press forward.

But this is what I want ...or rather this is what I need to let go of most lol.

and its funny because I don't even eat cake like that. !

Day Two: These are the Times...

I survived. It is so hard. I am my biggest motivator along with the Creator.

Just five more days and then I can see the results of the seed I sowed. =)

I'll make it ...although the green juice I made tastes horrible.

Hopefully that opinion will change or else too bad because this is something I just need to do.

Be Back Later , I have a class in twenty minutes.

on my journey ..i look to youtube for some inspiration in my quest

"Living in harmony with the will of the Creator."

So just for the clear up of things...I am doing this spiritual fast in which for seven whole days Shapel will be consuming liquids only. I know I will get irritated because I am going to have this strong desire to chew. But I have faith and devotion to grow closer to Self and the Creator.

I wrote the above around noon and now it is 10:34 pm and I want to do more than chew ...I want to chomp. There is so much negative energy around me pleading me to give up and this is only day one.

I just have to survive for six more days ...please.

Day One : So it began...

I practice forgiveness so that I , too, may be forgiven, for it is the will if the Creator.

Today is the first day of my adventure...I am excited and slightly scared. But fear is of low vibrancy and I wish to live on higher planes. So this fear will rid itself slowly but surely. I will not consume any solid foods for the next six days. Six whole days. I will get through this because I know my spirit is of great heights and this is only as I strive to be in the reflection of the Creator.

It is such a beautiful day outside ...everyday I see now , I see with so much beauty.
Despite all that occurs I am really lucky to be here...to witness it all.

Now I hope I have supporters out there and I hope you guys are praying for my survival through this so that one day soon I will be a guide on our path to purity.

As for now I have to walk to Save-A-Lot and get some greens...

This day will be updated and until then remember that I sincerely love. I am. I sincerely love.

Peace& Blessings.

Pre-Day

Now that I have some of your attention...

Tomorrow starts my long yet short adventure. I am going on a nutritional and spiritual fast. For I shall only consume Water,Tea,Citrus Water and Green Liquids. I am going to go to Save-A-Lot tomorrow and purchase some greens: spinach,kale,broccoli,lettuce and etc.

Have me in your prayers and in your thoughts...please and thank you<3

I am on a journey...I probably shouldn't be searching but there is something inside of me that needs to be fulfilled and I am at this stage and point in my life where I can not wait, I can not stop and think about what people think about me ..how you perceive me...at the end of the day I have to wait and sit back and analyze if you would even MATTER at the end of the day?

But

you do.

So this is why I am doing it for Self and more importantly for the Love of you.

In time you will figure it out...one day it can be oh so simple.

**That was of no effort to emulate Ms.Badu but to show that I am trying to find myself...and see how much I care about society's thoughts on how I should live my life.

So the wireless is not working here ... I am taking this as a sign that Shapel doesn't need to be on the computer at the moment. Maybe she needs to put her little Mollie, which is my Blackberry, down. After I post these empty thoughts, I will read my Heal Thyself by the wonderful and beautiful Queen Afua. School is almost over and I guess I can not wait. This summer will be one of deep reflection. I am having previews of what it will be like now.

Because a lot has happen to me in my life , as in everyone's life , I think I'm going to sit up or rather lay down and just ponder about it all. The fact that I put my heart into this leaves me with one of two things and they are both on the extreme side of things: great pleasure or great pain.

I'm not asking for a superman , I'm not even asking for you to fully understand...I just want you to feel me , just a little bit.

Why do people insist on playing games with emotions? Lol. I really hate to sound all sensitive and I really hate to hear people say Stop acting all emotional. This only leaves me to think is it human to act emotion less. I have so many things on my mind. And so many places I'm trying to find.

Chinese seriously might be the death of me -__- this reciting in Mandarin is killing me LOUDLY!

Life is good otherwise.

This will be rather short.

Much Love.

Tupac- Keep Ya Head Up is on. I am feeling some type of way. So muchh can go on during a period as short as four hours. Where am I going? What am I doing? What is this? How much does it take? This song reminds me that throughout all this pain we really have to encounter in life , there is a righter day and there is a way for you to see your self and your purpose. Life can be a trip...one day you can be so insecure and the next day you can be so narcissistic? I'm sick of trying to please everyone ..but I'm in this world to satisfy others but not exactly ... ah bah hum. im babbling -__-. I JUST WISH SOMEONE COULD UNDERSTAND ME. As I sit here trying to cry.

it doesn't make me feel better when people go well someone is going through 10x the pain you are.

it makes me want to cry =[

how to deal with pain 101.

1 member.

peace.

Free Willy Theme analyzed by Shapel and related to a philosophy in my heart

Hold me, like the river jordan
And I will then say to thee
You re my friend

Carry me, like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there…

I can never stress enough the fact that we need to be there for each other. That we will all PERISH and can never prosper alone. This life we walk is not one meant to travel on foot all the time , when you are tired. We are a community and a family. Millions upon millions have died and passed on just so you and i can become united.

Weary, tell me will you hold me?

Cause I will. To my last breath I will hold you down.

When wrong, will you scold me?

When lost will you find me?

I am not one to be the judge but when you feel sometime does not connect with your inner being. Answer that voice and do what you believe in your heart is truly right. I will always remind you of your destiny which is to be nothing less than magnificent and influential.

But they told me a man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end but I'm only human.

We are only mere mortals. Little humans but one must remember that is the scale of our souls that leaves another account of great heights.

We are only human and this makes us no less equal to accomplishing things of superb measure. The fear of achieving shall be diminished and the blaze of love and caring should always flame forever bright<3

Shot at My Heart ; if you destroy my art...

Graffiti is simply doing what your Ancestors did in my case;

i mock Ancient Egyptians with spiritual inscriptions but

you think my art is a contradiction.

You think i write on skyscrapers to get attention.

and you know what,

maybe you deem to be precise

in fact that alone will suffice.

i'm bringing awareness

cause i can not bear this-

care less ness

where is our fear less ness

we come from a line

defined

with a nexus of symbols and texts

so why would you dedicate

all this energy to texts

i'm guilty and i know this

but i know that ignorance is not bliss

because i see those images of black fists

power

power

we are the people

power

power

race is a divider

and racism is lethal

Evil will never prosper as long as i come to grasp

and i unveil the masked.

The devil's flask

soon runs hollow

and presumptions you make are shallow

follow

the golden brick road

to the value of your soul.

The wise never grow old

but young and light

as their spirit takes flight

to planes of tranquil energies

and you need to see

as long as this will be

you cannot extinguish

My Love.

My Passion.

My Art.

Ablaze with Ether

from the Master Teacher.

until Kingdom come.

until Kiingdon come.

in a wireless world
no wonder my wires are fraying
dictionaries are full of empty meaning and sayings;
knees wobble from the constant praying
day out and day in
i don't know where to begin
Where do I start?
How am i apart
of this...
Someone pump the brakes
on my cerebral
Please someone stop
Racing isn't legal
chasing is too feeble
and conceitedly
I feel way too regal
to waste around and wait
Debate
on reasons that do not add up
to your cracked measuring cup
oops
your bad
my good
luck.
and



i guess it sucks.


echo*
on reasons that don't add up

3 o s in a forest made a sound* 3/09/010

all i really want is one of ya'll to understand me,
through the loud clothes and the make-up , price tags and receipts and fees.
and all i really want is for you to feel ,
what could be real
but
who am i to judge
to say dreaming is too much.
so what i'm really saying
if you can hear my loud conscience,
theres even division and levels amongst nonsense.
i don't know who puts the stop it
and makes up these definitions
but i do know why they never taught me grammar mechanisms.
and i know why they clipped my wings - i was too high
and i know why they chopped my feet- i was too grounded.
i am
lost in the sauce,
and still spiritually founded.
dreams, hopes of hard LaBordes i mean laborers
sweat , blood and tears bounded
to make me.
so think?
could i really fake thee.
could i be another sigh of defeat
not if i'm that cry of relief
not if i turnt my history too
a familiar leaf
one of
glory,pride,community,love and wisdom
one where everything was in change
and nothing was new under the sun
according to Kiing Solomon
and being a Kiing myself
i think of no better man to follow than
a leader of illuminated truth
not the effect on PhotoBooth-
Glow
and just so you know
i never asked for it
i never asked for much
but you can feel me before you see me
now talk about touched...

Adore-Prince

oh my goodness.

i don't think people realize how good of a song ADORE is.

PRINCE.

ate that song. (lol)

that is a baby making i mean

babies made

song.

let someone come singing that song to me....

have mercy.

<3

all i can say that is love in every shape and form. whoa.

I don't want to wait in Vain for your Love...

*look at the spirit gleaming from this beautiful man*

Hello All,

I'm home in New York City.

On this oh so beautiful day.

The sun is out and now that my room has been painted gold

it really has a calm yet invigorating feel to my soul.

I'm not even trying to be spiritual and poetic.

I just feel so good.

I'm listening to Bob Marley- Waiting in Vain is playing.

It reminds me of sweet nothings and bliss filled kisses.

That is a true commitment , to wait for someone's love.

but i guess

its worth it?

Love is kind.

Love is patient.

Love is true.

but I think that if Love is so kind it wouldn't make me wait?

or

maybe it is doing so to let me see what its worth and how good it really is?

either way

whoever might say

on any given day

gotta love Bob Marley <3

self query about the secular world 3/03/010

and the voice said in time young grasshopper

for although you are them and the reflection is thee

they are their

and you are me

i still need you to be

everything that you see

in blind sight

with your eyes wide shut

to all the negativity

and your soul opened to

the

light

that shines

special for you and me

cause i am yours forever

plus a day

and if living was done without you

i would give my breathe away

just so your atman could

sway

and

stay over and

under me.

cuddling my thoughts

making my heart

always room temperature and

above-

vivid skies

momentarily cries

bittersweet lies

corporate neckties

sapped sighs

stings from slapping skins

and i don't mean high fives,

not part with

your crusade for

equanimity.

let's talk about sex...baby?!?!

So I'm sitting in Cosby thinking to myself all the things I was talking about last night and one of my past discussions in class , and something struck me.Is sexuality bad or good ? I personally believe that sexuality is good in the sense that you are conscious of what your sexuality is. Being in tact with your sexuality shows either a level of being comfortable or insecure.
Last night as I was joking around with a few people in my dorm , claiming I'm stimulating my clitoris and there is "jizz" all over the place while laughing , I stopped and thought what if I was serious. LOL. Would it be all bad. I do not tie naiive , pure, angelic, "good" girl with bad just because you're knowledgable about sex.

So the next time you're alone look at your body and love it , feel comfortable.

• Breathe in your aroma.

i'm pretty serious.

Who else can really love you like you?

Peace&Prosperity

Wars, poverty, disease and death are inhaled more than oxygen itself.
The fact that this world lacks positive energy we in turn have an immense amount of negative energy. Do we as a people really interact with each other?
The majority of society is selfish. The seven deadly sins have taken a tool on our society and actions. What can we turn to in this age of chaos? Perhaps peace?

Peace is an action that we need to take towards each other. Because we all have a desire to be powerful and wealthy we do not heed to many morals and we sometimes lose our integrity. The Elite usually forget that they are human and possess mortal qualities. Why is the majority of any country poor?

A common fact in the modern world is that money is an issue. People have the task of paying bills and in these days everything is becoming priced high. Poverty is one of the most terrible things the world has seen. Can people who barely have enough or nothing at all, react peacefully in the world? Well it depends on the person but many people have a higher chance of being criminal like when they are poor.


We all strive for peace, but is it strength wasted and foolish thoughts? When people are being denied a comfortable life and simple things like education , do we really expect the world to be at rest? A bigger question is are we all equal? In the United States of America do we all possess the same rights? These are some of the basic questions we need to ask ourselves.